Most people experience some degree of shyness from time to time in certain situations. In fact, only 7% of the population claims to have never feel so. For the rest of us, shyness can range from being an occasional minor inconvenience, to be a big problem.
Some people, however, are suffering from some degree of shyness so severe that it is almost disabling. This type of acute shyness is not only very painful to live, but can have devastating effects on a person's social life, happiness, and career development.
Severe shyness is a complex mixture of biology, education, traumatic experiences, and negative self-talk. severe shyness can co-exist with other debilitating psychological conditions such as low self-esteem, perfectionism, depression and anxiety.
Extreme shyness can take many forms, and may present differently in different people. Some people have problems so be very large gatherings, but feel comfortable in small groups. Some shy people only feel acute discomfort with people who have just met, while others are never comfortable around people, even those who have known a long time.
Psychiatrists and psychologists use the term "social anxiety disorder (SAD)" to describe extremely debilitating shyness. There is complete agreement as to whether severe, disabling social anxiety disorder is simply a more severe type of shyness, or is another type of disorder altogether.
Some very shy people can overcome their fears by learning social skills and practicing them frequently in social situations. Many also be useful to gain some measure of control over their reactions to physical discomfort such as sweating and trembling, using special relaxation techniques and biofeedback training.
Many very shy people deal with their extreme anxiety by simply avoiding social situations that might trigger their discomfort. This may mean lower invitations to parties and other social events, crossing the street in order to avoid running into someone they know, and also lowering the promotions in the workplace.
Although avoiding the feared situation may seem to the shy person like the perfect solution, actually makes the problem worse in the long run. Every time a shy person chooses to avoid social interaction, reinforces that fear in his mind what to do with other people. Choosing the short-term benefit to avoid anxious feelings, he reinforces the power that holds her fear of him
Psychologists who specialize in treating shyness disorders have discovered that avoiding social situations can actually worsen the problem. Many psychologists who treat people aflicted shyness recommends a program of repeated and gradually increase exposure to the feared situation, combined with helping the client learn new ways of thinking.
Various psychological therapies have been used to treat extreme shyness, most of them with little success. The most successful approaches use some variation of cognitive therapy or behavioral therapy, or both, in combination with graduated and increasing exposure to the feared situation.
In cognitive therapy, the patient is taught to notice the thought that while he thinks is in the feared situation. The client learns to challenge his thoughts to see if they fit reality. If these thoughts do not correspond to reality, the client is taught to substitute more realistic thoughts in their place.
behavioral therapy aims to change the behavior of the client using a program of positive reinforcement of desired behavior and negative reinforcement of unwanted behavior.
Both cognitive therapy and behavior therapy focus on teaching the client to deal with situations and symptoms in the present. No form of therapy explores situations in the distant past reviews. Those forms of psychotherapy trying to deal with shyness by delving into the past reviews have not been shown to be effective. techniques of cognitive therapy.
There are many books that can teach the reader to effectively use the techniques of cognitive therapy for both depression and loneliness. If your case is not particularly severe, you can often learn enough from reading a book and do the exercises recommended to significantly alleviate the symptoms of shyness or depression. Dr. David Burns, a pioneer in cognitive therapy lead to a wider audience, has written several useful books and workbooks for the general public, including "Intimate Connections" and "Feeling Good - New Mood Therapy.
Over the past decade, researchers have found that some antidepressants, particularly the so-called SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) may also be very useful in the treatment of extreme shyness. One of these SSRI, Paxil, was the first to receive approval by the FDA as an effective treatment for social anxiety. In fact, ads for Paxil as a treatment for social anxiety have been marketed directly to the public, not just doctors. Other anti-depressant in the SSRI group are also believed to help revive the social anxiety.
The drug treatment for shyness really work? Some very socially anxious people have tried everything that regular psychotherapy has to offer including cognitive therapy, yet continue to suffer the debilitating symptoms of shyness until they try SSRI drugs. In some cases, improved sociability after taking SSRI drugs can be swift and profound. This class of drugs seems to help the socially anxious person turn down the excessive volume of their inner thoughts subjective.
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