Many of us mistakenly believe that it is wrong or presumptuous to think we have good quality. You can spend a lot of time blame ourselves for our negative qualities, thinking that self criticism is the key to improving our performance. However, a constant focus on our supposed shortcomings can hinder our efforts to make friends with other people.
How can we have the confidence to make new friends, if we think we have much to offer? How can we believe that others could like us if we believe that our inner being is flawed? Or if we think we are too boring for anyone else interested?
One might ask what anyone else would have seen us if we do not see anything good in ourselves. To allow others to be attracted to us, must be able to easily see our best qualities. If we focus on our good qualities we have much more confidence that we have something of value to offer in a relationship.
If you want to be socially successful, it is important to accept that not everyone is going to like you in all circumstances. Not everyone is going as you enter the package, especially on first meeting her. Each person has a unique pattern of likes and dislikes which were formed long before you met. Do not think you have to condemn yourself as a failure if it looks like someone else you like.
If someone seems to dislike you, the reason for that dislike might have little or nothing to do with you. The person that you do not like could be fear, or shallow, or busy or shy. Perhaps you and are simply a mismatch for the other person at this particular time.
Do not take yourself out of the game, deciding that your flaws are bigger than your assets. In fact, some of which are considered very flaws may be irresistible to someone else. For all factors that could cause a person to reject you, there are at least as many factors will work in your favor with someone else.
You may be more than thirty pounds your ideal weight, but could be a wonderful laugh and great joy for life. There are many people that your extra pounds will literally invisible. You can drive a shabby car, but it could be a great dancer and a loyal friend. There are people out there looking for loyalty, or fun, or sweetness, or spirit, and the package is in is not important.
If you are concerned that they are not beautiful to attract friends to keep in mind that not everyone is looking for physical beauty to their friends.
You can decide to feel inferior because you do not have much money and not to drive
a nice car. One can believe that this is the reason why you do not have many friends in life. On the other hand, if you're rich you can be suspicious that after all your money and that nobody really like as a person.
The point is that you can fixate on anything and I think the reason you can not make any friends.
Here's an easy way to remind yourself of what your qualities are: write a list of good quality and revise often. Do not think in your mind on what your good qualities may actually make the effort to write the list. The act of writing helps to reinforce the power of ideas in your mind. Do not be embarrassed to give yourself credit for his good points. If you have no idea what your point might be good, you might want to ask some people you know.
When compiling the list of good qualities, be as generous in your praise as your best friend in the whole wide world would be! If you do not have any best friends yet, imagine in your mind a wise and loving friend who knows you truly and appreciates you. What would this person say are your good points?
Here are some ideas that might apply to you. Feel free to modify this list for you and add to it.
My strengths are:
· I'm kind
· I never gossip
· I go out my way of helping others
· I'm good with numbers
· I have a calm disposition
· I know a lot of sports
You can keep the list with you and read over every day. Add to it whenever you think of new good quality to find in yourself. Pay attention to the compliments that others give you. The positive qualities that others see in you can go on your list as well.
When you're out there meeting people often remember all the wonderful qualities you have. It 's just a matter of time before meeting other people who appreciate them too!
Learning to relax. Instead of blaming themselves for some perceived flaw, focus on the good qualities you have to offer. Realize that there is an audience for your particular combination of gifts, and go looking for people who appreciate them.
This article is an excerpt from new book downloadable Real Royan.
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