You're about to be watched

C ' is a moving piece on the Internet now called " when you thought I wasn't looking for " and " a ' attributed to former child ", so I don't know who to credit. It begins with: " When you thought I looked, I saw you hang my painting on refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another. " it comes to things that we have inadvertently teach ' ' our children.

His many examples demonstrate that do not teach what we know, but who we are, as it is true that in the workplace as it is in the House, regardless of age '. It is for the emotional intelligence, that I coach, which shall include the powers of intentionality-do what you intend to do.

EQ means understanding your emotions (yours and other '), being able to manage and express in an appropriate manner, and understand the ' effect they have on others. How to know the ' pride of work in the previous example, you can't learn EQ just reading about it. You can not get ' ' listening to someone else talk about it. We need to see it in action. We also need to put something out there and observe the results. To learn, we need to remind us what's going on, during and after the fact, because the emotional component can fog our thinking.

You're about to be looked at, Yes, and you are also be misinterpreted.

INTERPRETING nonverbal behavior

Whatever we are trying to teach our children, or those who surround us, is not a stretch to say that a child might misunderstand the ' of a painting hanging on the fridge. You never know how a child is going to put things together, just like you never know how another adult. A man in my family was furious that I had hung his paintings on the refrigerator, not proud. In the subsequent discussion, it was discovered that he thought if I liked, I would like to have it framed and hung on a wall. " this is for " children, he said, pointing to the refrigerator.

I saw a scene, l ' other day on the job, where a boss had imposed a strict deadline for his assistant. L ' assistant seemed intense as he began the work, then had to move to another when the computer is locked.

ING a point of saying that a child might misunderstand the ' of a painting hanging on the fridge. You never know how a child is going to put things together, just like you never know how another adult. A man in my family was furious that I had hung his paintings on the refrigerator, not proud. In the subsequent discussion, it was discovered that he thought if I liked, I would like to have it framed and hung on a wall. " this is for " children, he said, pointing to the refrigerator.

I saw a scene, l ' other day on the job, where a boss had imposed a strict deadline for his assistant. L ' assistant seemed intense as he began the work, then had to move to another when the computer is locked.

The boss started massaging shoulders, saying: " sorry that " in this way.

L ' Assistant had neck muscles and sensitive, so the massage caused pain instead of relief. And ' was also distracting. Also, due to the Declaration, he had to worry about his feelings ' Chief as well as his own more do the job.

L ' Assistant turned, took a deep breath and said, with a big smile on her face, " I appreciate the massage, but it hurts and is distracting. I'm trying to concentrate. I'm not angry at being asked to do this, and is not angry with you. What are you frustrated because ... " and chronic deficiencies listed computer. " what could help me ", said, " is if you would ... " and gave her something concrete to do head who would forward the ' activity.

Later, when the work was finished, they took the conversation again. " I love shine " l ' " Assistant said, and I can't when I don't have the proper equipment " '.

The boss in a note to tackle the problem.

Events of emotionally processing

The same scenario takes place daily in every Office. C not ' is so two people will not be influenced by the feelings of others and, in cons-intuitively, if one tries to hide the feelings, the ' effect is even greater. At least they are expressed, the more they will be open to misinterpretations.

s started the job, then he had to move to another when the computer is locked.

The boss started massaging shoulders, saying: " sorry that " in this way.

L ' Assistant had neck muscles and sensitive, so the massage caused pain instead of relief. And ' was also distracting. Also, due to the Declaration, he had to worry about his feelings ' Chief as well as his own more do the job.

L ' Assistant turned, took a deep breath and said, with a big smile on her face, " I appreciate the massage, but it hurts and is distracting. I'm trying to concentrate. I'm not angry at being asked to do this, and is not angry with you. What are you frustrated because ... " and chronic deficiencies listed computer. " what could help me ", said, " is if you would ... " and gave her something concrete to do head who would forward the ' activity.

Later, when the work was finished, they took the conversation again. " I love shine " l ' " Assistant said, and I can't when I don't have the proper equipment " '.

The boss in a note to tackle the problem.

Events of emotionally processing

The same scenario takes place daily in every Office. C not ' is so two people will not be influenced by the feelings of others and, in cons-intuitively, if one tries to hide the feelings, the ' effect is even greater. At least they are expressed, the more they will be open to misinterpretations.

We cannot know what is going on with someone else if you don't ask. Multicultural offices today, is particularly dangerous to assume the meaning of a gesture, action, or expression. Did you know that in the Middle East, one of the most insulting things you can do is show a ' the other person the sole of your shoe? Note that, for the ' lawyer whose Office I entered the ' other day, who speaks regularly on the phone with your feet on the desk, soles facing the incoming visitor!

Just a discussion on what is happening we can get one inside the other ' the mind and heart. In the heat of the moment, such a debate could be postponed, but for the good relations and learning, needs to take place. Feelings need to be addressed, and often misunderstood shows nonverbal disentangled.

Intentionality

If you want to model good deeds for the child, and make a cake for a neighbor in need, be sure to address all parts of the application, for example, ensure that you are teaching what it means to be teaching. This is the ' intent, a skill EQ. If you run the ' Act reluctantly, as a kind of onerous " duty ", throwing the ingredients and complaining all the time about how you are overworked, you lost your deepest purpose. Unless you mean teach that life is dangerous sacrifice and suffering.

If d ' the other hand, is happily making the cake and dance outside the door is delivered, the child is likely to miss the point that sometimes help others may require a certain discomfort on your part.